Is There Sex After Kids?

Don’t scoff, but I’m sure I’m not the only one to laugh when people say sex after kids is darn near impossible. I mean, it’s such a true statement and something most parents can relate with. Gone are the lazy Saturday morning bedroom scenes and you’ve left those afternoon sex marathons behind. Instead, sex after kids becomes one of those distant fantasies. In fact, there’s more chance that you’ll win Lotto.

So that got me thinking. No, not that I should be buying more Lotto tickets, but rather in finding out ways that can make sex after kids actually happen. Surely there’s hope?

Can Sex After Kids Exist?

Interestingly enough, research has shown that once kids come along, levels of marriage dissatisfaction increase. It turns out that these feelings then negatively impact upon our children’s emotional and academic well-being. It makes sense then that if you are unhappy with your relationship, you won’t have sex as often. But then there’s the ‘don’t touch or look at me’ time after the baby arrives, when you’re too scared to cuddle in case he thinks you want to get naked again. It can be darn complicated!

This leads me to asking, is a great sex life possible after kids? Then if so, when the hell do you find time to have one? Well, plenty of other frustrated parents have asked the same question, so I’m bringing you some of their suggestions:

• Don’t have kids. Okay, sorry that’s too late. However, sending to the grandparent’s for the night would be a good idea.
• Lower your expectations. A full-on romance relationship isn’t on the cards. Instead run with the time you’ve got, even if it’s 10 minutes.
• Chat with each other during the day. If you save it all for your alone time when the kids are in bed, you’re wasting precious time you could be butt naked!
• Book it in. Accept the days of spontaneous lovemaking are gone and schedule your bedroom sessions together. If need be, install a high lock or bolt on the inside of your bedroom door. Or you could run off somewhere in the house the kids would never look…
• Occupy the kids during your scheduled together time. Puzzles, books, games, the iPad or even TV! Who cares as long as it will give you some uninterrupted together time.
• Use sex like a sleeping pill. Even if you’re tired, having sex can help relax you and give you an even better night’s sleep. So yes, you should be waiting up until the kids are asleep often.
• Get up early. Not ideal, but there’s nothing wrong with setting the alarm in the weekend for before the kids wake up.

Now I’m not asking you to share all your details about how you’ve made sex after kids work (unless you want to, and in that case, please go ahead!). But what I will do is ask you to share this article with another parent – because let’s face it – they’re going to be able to relate!